Week 2

Well,  here I am.  Another year and I'm still fat. This year,  I'm determined to make a change, instead of whining and complaining about how nothing fits, and I hate buying clothes in the size I do,  and that I'm out of shape, or any of the other various complaints about my size and fitness level.  This year,  it will be different.   This year,  I am doing some thing besides sitting on my duff eating chips and washing it down with a diet soda.  I've seen the Oprah commercials 'the year of my best body',  and it has struck a chord in me.  I want make 2016 the year I started working toward MY best body. I've been down this road. More than once even. I look at the pictures from a little over a decade ago,  when I was at my goal weight of 140.  I had lost 100 pounds,and kept it off for 2 years.  I was working at a health club, eating healthy, and was living the skinny dream.  Only it wasn't. I had bought into the thin dream,  worked my butt off to make it happen,  and was maintaining the loss,  but mentally,  I was still the fat girl. When I looked in the mirror,  I still saw the 240 lb.  me, not the new and societally approved version of me. I was obsessed with my weight, and the number on the scale. Missing a workout was reason for near panic attack.   Long story short,  my grandfather passed away,  I had back surgery,and I stopped making me a priority.   I had burned myself out big time.  The weight started creeping back on,  then packed on.... fast.... thanks to the antidepressants and lack of caring.   Fast forward to 2016 and here I am.  I've gained it all back, and then some. Oh, and add some more.   I've got to make changes,  because this.... Obesity, fatigue, not being able to keep up with my family....it's not working for me anymore.   I'm eternally grateful to my friend Sara for telling me we were applying for Healthy U,  and for the opportunity for HU2.   I've got more support than I ever,  and it's amazing.   This time,  I know what to expect.   This time,  I'm going to make it stick.  Its not my goal to be skinny,  but I am going to be healthy.   To make healthier decisions. To set a good example for my girls.  And to finally be proud of myself and the work I'm doing.